Lyrics

Lyrics:

I walked through the door with you
The air was cold
But somethin bout it felt like home somehow
And I left my scarf there at your sister’s house
And you’ve still got it in your drawer even now
Oh your sweet disposition, and my wide eyed gaze
We’re singing in the car getting lost upstate
Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place
And I can picture it after all these days
And I know it’s long gone and that magic’s not here no more
And I might be ok but I’m not fine at all…

Cause there we are again on that
Little town street
You almost ran the red
Cause you were looking over at me
Wind in my hair, I was there
I remember it all too well

Photo album on the counter
Your cheeks were turning red
You used to be a little kid with glasses
in a twin-sized bed
And your mother’s telling stories bout you on
the tee ball team
You taught me bout your past
Thinkin your future was me
And you were tossing me the car keys
‘F*** the patriarchy’ keychain on the ground
We were always skipping town
And I was thinking on the drive down
Any time now, he’s gonna say it’s love
You never called it what it was
til we were dead and gone and buried
Check the pulse and come back
Swearing it’s the same, after 3 months in the grave
And then you wondered where it went to
As I reached for you but
All I felt was shame
And you held my lifeless frame
And I know it’s long gone and
There was nothing else I could do
And I forget about you long enough
To forget why I needed to…

Cause there we are again in the middle of the night
We’re dancin round the kitchen in the
refrigerator light
Down the stairs, I was there
I remember it all too well…
And there we are again
When nobody had to know
You kept me like a secret
But I kept you like an oath
Sacred prayer and we’d swear
to remember it all too well

Well maybe we got lost in translation
Maybe I asked for too much
But maybe this thing was a masterpiece
Til you tore it all up
Running scared, I was there
I remember it all too well
And you call me up again
Just to break me like a promise
So casually cruel in the name of being honest
I’m a crumpled up piece of paper lying here
Cause I remember it all, all, all
They say all’s well that ends well
But I’m in a new hell every time
You double-cross my mind
You said if we had been closer in age
Maybe it would have been fine
And that made me want to die.

The idea you had of me
Who was she?
A never-needy, ever lovely jewel
Whose shine reflects on you
Not weeping in a party bathroom
Some actress asking me what happened
You.
That’s what happened: You.
You, who charmed my dad with self-effacing jokes
Sipping coffee like you were on a late night show
But then he watched me watch the front door
all night, willing you to come
And he said, “it’s supposed to be fun…
Turning 21”

Time won’t fly
It’s like I’m paralyzed by it
I’d like to be my old self again
But I’m still trying to find it
After plaid shirt days
And nights when you made me your own
Now you mail back my things
And I walk home alone
But you keep my old scarf
From that very first week
Cause it reminds you of innocence, and it smells like me
You can’t get rid of it
Cause you remember it all too well

Cause there we are again when
I loved you so
Back before you lost the one real thing
You’ve ever known
It was rare, I was there
I remember it all too well
Wind in my hair, you were there
You remember it all
Down the stairs, you were there
You remember it all
It was rare, I was there
I remember it all too well

And I was never good at telling jokes
But the punchline goes:
“I’ll get older, but your lovers stay my age”
From when your Brooklyn broke my skin and bones
I’m a soldier who’s returning half her weight
And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue?
Just between us, did the love affair maim you too?
Cause in this city’s barren cold
I still remember the first fall of snow
And how it glistened as it fell
I remember it all too well

Just between us did the love affair maim you
All too well
Just between us, do you remember it
All too well
Just between us, I remember it all too well

Wind in my hair
I was there, I was there
Down the stairs, I was there
I was there
Sacred prayer
I was there, I was there
It was rare, you remember it
All too well